I did my PhD studies in physics. I was lucky to have an advisor who believed that doing grad studies is one of the most fun experiences you can have in life. He was correct; and also at odds with a lot of the macho bs that goes on in academia (it has to be hard, you have to suffer, you have to be a genius, you have to work 24 hours a day, or whatever nonsense).

I enjoyed my grad studies, but by the time I finished I had been brainwashed by the university culture to believe that only an academic career path was acceptable; anything else would be a failure. Despite the fact that I was not a topnotch physicist, I went on to do a couple of postdocs, which, for the large part, I did not enjoy. Fortunately, I eventually realized that I was not having fun, and that academia is not everything, and went to work at commercial ventures. I do not believe I would have enjoyed myself if I had gotten a tenured position, and I know for sure that I’m making a lot more money now. I am very happy that I did my PhD work, and equally happy that I chose not to remain in academia.

Here’s my suggestion to anyone thinking a PhD is a good idea: Ask yourself, why am I going to do this? Keep in mind that it doesn’t guarantee you an academic position. Look at the statistics: how many grad students are there, and how many faculty positions open every year, just at your own university? Getting a PhD in itself, especially in a technical field (I’m biased), can be quite a lot of fun. It’s also excellent training, can give you broad experience, and sharpens your mind. If you want to do a PhD for all or some of those reasons, go for it. If you want to do a PhD because you think you will be guaranteed a tenure-track position, think again.

BTW I happen to be a woman who has no interest in marriage or children, so I can’t speak for men or women who consider those two options to be of primary importance. Those factors never entered into my consideration when deciding on the PhD/academic track, or when deciding to leave academia.